 Crayons.Melt.In.This.Heat 2008-03-30 . chapter 1That was really good, I liked it!
Natasha's fear throughout the whole thing is very evident, I could relate to her emotions very easily, so good job! :)
In the beginning of the story there is some grammar issues I believe when it comes to her thoughts, (making a new paragraph) but that's all I could really "criticize," ha ha.
Once again, nice job! ~Dreamer |