I like the piece a lot.. it flows really well.. my favorite phrase was "sounds pool silently" the contradiction was so beautiful and I also love the ending.. great piece

Two things though
Opposition keep me within this box... keeps
In the fifth line you don't use commas, but you do in most of the other lines.. I might put commas in there

PS If you're bored today check out the review game's review marathon.. there's a link in my profile