Hey there! Looks like I finally got around to reviewing your stories...

This was so good! No need for the Author's note with the excuses for this story. I thouroughly enjoyed this first chapter. It's pulled me in, which is what it should do. And I could feel the environment and feel I was a part of it. You had plenty of details to make me feel that way, which was good. You didn't forget those minor details which made me able to see everything around me as I stood there with the travelors and with Kate. A few comments, or rather questions...

"Kate’s character, the only female warrior in the team of good guys, was losing patience with standing and watching like she had been ordered to. Kate fidgeted and stamped her feet, rattled her sword in its sheath, then, ..." My question here is: Did Kate fidget and stamp her feet after her cue or before it? The way iy stands now, I feel like it's happenig after she got her cue, and I would think she would have been impatient before that because once that came, she wouldn't have need to be anymore. If that's the case, you could just change 'was losing patience' to 'had been losing...' and then you could add, 'then, finally, having received her cue...' Just a thought.

I liked the winking from Kevin to Kate as he was felled by her. It added that need to know information about their relationship very subtly.

More good detail on Kate's surroundings as she walked the path and excellent description of her character and emotions. I could really relate to her as you delved into her emotional thoughts. Good.

Nice intro to Kate's feelings for Kevin, too. Again, subtle. I like that.

"They were acquaintances, nearing friendship, combat-companions—but at this moment Kate felt nervous in his presence." - Good. This defines their relationship very well. And I like the fact that she felt nervous in his presense. It not only added to her feelings about him but also to her introverted attitude you described earlier. It's consistant.
"Sweat cooled since the show beetled on the back of her neck." - I really liked this line. It tied in the begginning of the story, added a definite element to her nervousness and is a really amazing visual image.

“she was now, with a thrilling sort of terror like the top of a roller coaster." - Good description of her fear. I can really understand it now - how much it really is.

Good conversations, too. They felt natural.

“No…” Kate looked down. There was gravely, packed stone beneath her hands." - I'd like to know where her hands are. Are they on the bench, on her lap? Are they fidgeting in her nervousness? I think that'd just add an extra dimension of feeling and understanding. And where was the stone? I assume it was on the ground below her hands, but I had to stop and wonder if she were sitting on the ground, with her hands resting on the stones the way the wording was. Just a little bump in the road as I was reading. And maybe it's just me. So you can ignore it if you want. My suggestion would be '... ,packed stone beneath the bench her hands rested on,' or something to that extent. I think it would add to the overall picture. But again just something small, so it can be ignored since it's not that major.

“I do okay. But you’re…better.” Beautiful. Not just fun to watch. Impossible to not watch." - I loved this! Her thoughts were perfect.

The touch of her shoulder by Kevin was great, too, and very well done. The conversation, as I said, flowed well the whole time, and I loved the end. It explained well the fact that the travelors really don't see the characters for who they really, but for the characters they play. It also left you on enough of a cliff-hanger to make you want to come back for more. Excellent job. I hope you keep going with it. I'll read what you do have. Look for a PM from me (since I don't think I ever replied to the last one I got from you. ;) opps!)

Good job and God bless,
~Heir of Arenaria

I didn't really think I would be very interested in this from the first chapter. There wasn't much indication of what kind of story this would become and nothing particularly hooked me.

It did slowly grow on me though, especially Kate. Her outlook is something I can relate to: "I don’t fall in love with men. I fall in love with archetypes, with heroes or demons." I've often contemplated such things myself. In a way, I think she might be more interesting without the surreality that starts intruding on her life; the way she sees things becomes...less remarkable when it receives physical justification.

That's not to say those elements are unwelcome. I'm curious to see where that part of the plot is going and to what degree it will eventually dominate the story. The setting is an avenue for fantastic intrusions I've never seen before, and now I'm wondering why. It certainly seems well chosen here.

This is very, very surprising! I'm amazed how easily you've manuevered into this second installment, keeping Kate and Kevin present in the background of the narrative and fleshing out Sarah and Michael...Him I liked, especially; the details you included explained so suitably his enthusiasm and ignorance about the Faire (buying gauntlets at the first booth, and then wearing them with his street clothes: I've definitely seen that guy before!)
I identified very much with Sarah, although I've never hand-embroidered a gown...Her reaction to the tension between Kate and Kevin was very telling: She immediately skipped over Kate's excuse about their roles as actors in the Faire and went straight to "Was it something with her parents?", demonstrating that her thought process was firmly grounded in reality.
I can't repeat enough how accomplished I find your narrative: The Pirate King, specifically, comes ALIVE with the detail you've lavished on him; it's extremely interesting to see his somewhat passive role shift and change as he skulks off into the woods to confer with his two unseen companions.
The use of the silk shirt as a white flag was very intriguing: what kind of war is being fought, I asked myself? Is it real, or make-believe? And in the same vein, is the "monster" real, or another play-actor? The setting of the Faire really allows you to skew the borders of fantasy and reality, and you've done an truly admirable job.
I realize now that this is a rather long review. To be honest, I was so amazed to see that you'd added a second chapter, and even more amazed (and flattered) that you'd made a point of telling me about it, that I got somewhat carried away. Again, many, many words employed to say that I really liked it, and I look forward to future installments!
--Beloved-

I absolutely, unreservedly adore the renaissance faire. Your story has such perfect tone and atmosphere that I was immediately drawn into the scene; I remembered watching the chess match just a couple months ago and seeing those exact costumed characters walking around the booths or putting on their gear in the parking lot.
On the level of individual characters, your heroine is a very interesting take on a faire actress: the fact that she is rather insecure beneath her adopted personna puts the whole story on a different track. When Kate holds back at the end, and tells Kevin that kids wouldn't want to see a knight and a barbarian together, it was a shock to realize that she was almost lost inside this other personality: that she depended on it so much in how she related to Kevin, because he was a part of that play-acting world.
Anyway, all that to say that I really, really liked it!