Reviews for Stories of Blackwood: For the Love of Miss King

Reviews For: Stories of Blackwood: For the Love of Miss King - Reviews: Page 1 of 3

AfterTheRainIsGone 2008-08-05 ch 24,	abuseWah! Applause, standing ovation, everything! I loved it! This was definitely different from Theresa and Henry's story, but then again these are totally different people. What else can I say but that I truly loved it!! I'll be waiting for the next installment for sure!!
AfterTheRainIsGone 2008-07-21 ch 22,	abuseI am so excited!! Things are picking up with Richard and Isobel! Great chapter. I loved it as usual.
AfterTheRainIsGone 2008-07-15 ch 20,	abuseoh wow. (this is Gabby by the way) I don't even remember what I meant about that last review. I think that I had it in my mind that Colonel Walters was Mr. Bradby's uncle, but once I realized he wasn't, I believe because of this chapter, my brain was still trying to believe they were the same person. Sorry about that. But yes, now I know who is who, and so profiling is needed. =) I was just so caught up in the moment!! haha. Does that sound any better than my last review? I'm not really sure at this point.
Esther Jade 2008-07-05 ch 13,	abuseNice ending! Lots of suspense. Is Miles a byblow? (in which case how old is Tom Bradby?) or has Tom Bradby been using him in some kind of nefarious entreprise? One thing I didn't understand in this chapter is why was ordered the way it was. There didn't seem any particular reason why the scene with Miles had to happen after the one later in the evening. Why not just carry straight through? Minor points: the cold, rain-speckled night - Hm, I have a bit of a problem with this description. I'm struggling to visualise what a rain-speckled night. To me, it conjures images more of what the window would look like than the night itself. only shortly - I think that "shortly" should be "briefly". not dropped acceptingly - I think that "not" should be a "now". He looked questioning. - In what way? Perhaps describe his face, rather than just telling what conclusion Isobel reaches about his expression. her expression the epitome of defeat. - I don't understand what is meant by this. not matter how tactful she had been that morning. - I think that "not" should be a "no". tearing of chunks of bread - I think that "of" should be an "off". to her new acquaintances - There's an apostrophe missing here. Elves? - Hm, not sure about this. I think Tolkien may have been the one to coin the word "elves" and he didn't write until the twentieth century. I could be wrong though.
Gabby 2008-07-02 ch 20, anon.	abusesigh I feel as if I have been keeping Verity's secret too! It's good that she has gotten it out in the open and that because of it she feels much better. Now i have to wonder what will happen to her and her daughter, and the Admiral. Fingers crossed! I liked this chapter a lot. Also, to be honest, I don't think I even remember Colonel Walters really, so maybe you could have a quick review about him whenever he is mentioned again? Just a suggestion. Keep writing beautifully, and I'll keep reading!
Gabby 2008-06-23 ch 19, anon.	abuseWell, things seem to be turning around for everyone. well, mostly everyone. I know this story is about Isobel and the younger Emerys and Richard, but I would like to see more of Henry and Theresa's relationship. Great chapter. Isobel got the closure that she needed. And of course, the last little part has me now a bit confused...but i guess that's how it should be.
Gabby 2008-06-10 ch 17, anon.	abuseI think it flowed pretty well. The argument, the fight, everything. I just didn't exactly feel that Isobel truly knew what was happening during the argument. What I mean is, did she truly get what Verity and Richard were trying to explain to her? I'm not sure...but I enjoyed this chapter regardless!
Gabby 2008-06-06 ch 16, anon.	abuseomg! Henry was freaking ANGRY!! I was getting scared for a second there. Great chapter. I'm very proud of Theresa for keeping a level head about the whole dinner incident, and was able to calm everyone down with a few words. Bravo! Can't wait to see what's going on with Isobel and what she's about to do.
Gabby 2008-06-04 ch 15, anon.	abuseah! Huge suspense is now afoot. I am excited to read more. This dinner seems to be very important...and i feel that Selina will not be able to contain her amusement. haha! Can't wait to read more. Great chapter.
Gabby 2008-05-17 ch 13, anon.	abuseUh oh. What's about to happen to Miles!! And now I am really curious over who Miss Hayworth is "meeting". Great chapter.
Esther Jade 2008-05-04 ch 12,	abuseAt first I was a bit confused by the section with the Admiral at first but I figured it out once I got further into the chapter. I'm really warming to both Selina and Isobel but particularly Selina. Isobel seems like she's being a little bit silly. If she's the main romantic figure of the story, it might be worth showing a bit more of her thought processes to give more sympathy to her character. I also like Richard. The plot seems to be getting more and more interesting. I wonder what has happened with Miles and if it has anything to do with Tom Bradby? Minor points: or listening to their every action being chastised by a being she could not see. - This feels like too modern a reflection for this period. Selina had not wished to flare the temper - I'm not sure if "flare" is the best word choice here. I also think that there should be an "of" at the end of this phrase. Miles’ eyes were wide, a frown betraying dislike, but their wetness telling of fear. - I find this description a bit confusing. would not be so eager today - I think there might be a better word choice than "eager" for this context. everyday in one another’s company - In this context, I think "everyday" should be two words. But not all charming young men are worth trouble they cause. - I think there should be a "the" in front of "trouble". Isobel had ignored it, hopefully, if nothing else. - I find this sentence a bit confusing. I think you're saying that she was hopeful, if nothing else, but I don't know if this is the clearest way to communicate this. Selina peered into the room, leaning on the doorframe - Considering the kind of clothes women wore in this period, I don't know how feasible leaning would be. Before she could say a word Isobel spoke - I think there should be a comma before "Isobel". Don’t you, Miss King. - Typo. I think that should end in a question mark. She broke of suddenly - Typo. Should be "off". Anger, questioning and sadness - I think there's probably a better word choice than "questioning". Are you hoping a ruined Mr Bradby will mean pretty Miss King will turn to you for comfort. - Typo. Another question mark needed. You read to many romances - Typo. I think that should be "too". your detectives mind - Typo. Apostrophe missing. whose looked at this whole situation clearly - I think that "whose" should be a "who's" or "who has"."Whose" is used to indicate possession. evenings assembly - Typo. Apostrophe missing.
Gabby 2008-04-24 ch 12, anon.	abuseThis was a thinking chapter for me. I have much to mull over in my brain and settle for the next chapter. I loved it though!
Esther Jade 2008-04-19 ch 11,	abuseAnother one of the slips of repetition seems to have happened at the beginning of this chapter. Gotta love computers! I quite enjoyed the family conversation. Now that I've gotten to know the characters better, it makes a lot more sense to me when they gather in big groups. My only problem with this section is that the last few lines between Selina and Theresa seemed to be a bit too intimate for the context. I enjoyed the interaction between Selina and Isobel. I thought you showed Isobel's emotional journey through the scene nicely. And you definitely left it in suspense... - Esther, currently reviewing for the Review Game's Review Marathon (link in my profile) Minor points: She remained with him by the river for too long, talking of everything and nothing - I like this description. I think it captures her mood really well. a great smile was spread across her features - I'm not sure about "great" as a word choice here. Mrs Danbury harked - I'm not mad about "harked" as a word choice here. The three callers did so, upon three chairs brought to them by two servants - I like this description. The turn-of-phrase is quite fun.
Esther Jade 2008-04-19 ch 10,	abuseThe plot wheels are really turning now. Isobel certainly seems far more interested in Tom Bradby than poor Richard. And I'm not sure I blame her. Richard sounds like he has plenty of problems himself. Oh well... And I'm enjoying Selina more and more. I'm still trying to figure out her role in all this but she's certainly interesting. I also quite liked the Colonel. A minor character but, I thought, an appealing one. I noticed Henry did it when the Colonel arrived and it reminded me of other instances where your characters go to the door to meet people. I don't know if this would have been the common protocol in Regency times. Though, I'm sure it may have happened, it seems to come up a lot in this story. When you describe the Colonel, it feels like you use too many "would haves". Also, in that paragraph, you have a "today" which doesn't feel quite right considering the story is in the past tense. were the Colonel’s first words to the room. - You often seem to introduce conversations like this and, I think, it's becoming a bit repetitive. before she too turned at saw Mr Bradby approaching them - Typo. I think that "at" should be an "and". Selina’s attachment are, I fear, strong. - I don't if it's a typo or the way Selina is saying is but I think it should be "attachments". She was being forward and she knew so - Rather than "so", I would recommend using "it". Theresa’s smile for the gentleman was everything that was friendly and true - I'm not sure about "true" as a word choice here. with her own thoughtful demeanour. - I'm not sure about this phrase. It doesn't seem like the best description for the situation. The Colonel was an ageing gentleman of six decades or more, everything about him being particularly round and portly - That comma is creating a comma splice. I would recommend changing it to a full stop. with regimented force. - I find this description very vague. It also seems a bit out of place. I know he's a colonel but it just feels funny. Especially considering how he's just been speaking. Colonel Walters, this is my elder brother, Richard - Elder? Or eldest? I may have gotten the wrong impression but I thought Theresa was older than Richard. In which case, he would be her eldest brother. It is that we do like the other’s wards. - I think there's a "not" missing in there.
Esther Jade 2008-04-19 ch 9,	abuseSomething seems to have gone wrong at the beginning of this chapter. You seem to have repeated the opening lines by mistake. I liked the scene between Richard and Isobel. Their conversation on the subject of Mr Bradby was particularly interesting. I also liked the interaction between Selina and Theresa. I think it shed an interesting light on both sisters. I'm not so sure about this mute boy. While you might be going somewhere with it, there seems like there are already too many characters in the story. From your profile page, it seems you have a family saga in mind, which is fine. But with so many characters already, having auxiliary story lines could really bog the story down. Minor points: into the hallways - Why plural? The young man’s own light brown eyes smiled his mistress - Smiled his mistress? focussing - I don't think that needs a double-s. the high beamed ceiling looking above them - "Looking" feels like a funny word choice here. herbs hanging from those closest too them - Typo. to. my own to feet - Typo. two. Selina found Theresa in the kitchen, still waiting for Mrs Constantine to return Miles to her, after finding the dining room empty, and having to interrupt Henry’s meeting with Mr Quentin to enquire of her. - This sentence seems overly involved. Mrs Wilkinson commented the whole household - I think there needs to be a "that" in there.

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