The main flaw I see in your essay is that it's far too VAGUE in referring to whatever it is that you're so unhappy about. For instance, you say in your third paragraph: "We do not demand to have our rights defended but instead trade them away one by one, along with whatever scraps of dignity we might deserve to claim."

The problem is that you never explain what that's supposed to mean in any given person's lifestyle. For instance, you don't offer a single specific EXAMPLE of one of the "rights" that you believe "we" previously possessed and have now traded away somehow. You don't mention anyone as a case study; anyone who used to have dignity and now has none at all, as a result of having traded away "rights" for something else entirely. So I can't really visualize what you're talking about! I can only make wild GUESSES as to what you might think you were referring to!

Later, you urge us to rebel and change things. You say this is long overdue. For instance, you say: "It is because we are too busy emulating those we should have overthrown in the earliest years of the twentieth century" -- but you don't explain just who "those" people who should have been overthrown a hundred years ago actually were, nor how this "overthrow" would have worked if it had happened at all.

In fact: it occurs to me that you don't even explain who "we" are; the people you are speaking to and for in this essay! All human beings? Or almost all human beings -- except for the ones who have the most money and political power at the moment? Or the people who live in a certain country? Or the people who live in a certain city? Or what?

So basically you're saying you think "we" (whoever "we" are?) have traded away too many "rights." You don't say what those rights are, or to whom we traded them, or how this trade worked. You then say that you want us to go change things. You don't say exactly which things we are supposed to change, nor how we could possibly change them even if we all agreed with you that we ought to make those changes! About all I really learn from your essay is that you are very UNHAPPY with things, and wish "we" would all work together to change those things . . . somehow. That's too abstract to give me any real idea of just what, exactly, you want me to do differently in my life from now on.

(P.S. On the other hand -- if it's any comfort to you, most of the expensive things you list at the end of your second paragraph are things that I don't own -- and the two that I do own (a PC and a cellphone) definitely are NOT the biggest and shiniest and most expensive available models of those things. Not even close! Just good enough to let me do the things I really need to do with them, when the need arises. That list of things you think people feel an exaggerated need to possess was the most specific thing in your entire essay; what you needed was more specifics in other areas to make it easier for me to figure out if you're talking about things that affect my life or not!)