To take something cliched and turn it into something real with feelings is a true skill, one that I must commend you for. You should be proud of all 225 words.

You know you've written emotion when, in two hundred words, you've moved someone to tears.

That's so beautiful, and so, so sad. Well, duh, I guess. But seriously, you got the message across with this really sparse language, and it just flowed really nicely.

I thought I'd return the favor. You have my respect for this short one. :)

That's so sad...

this is beautiful and heart wrenching. You've packed more emotion in a few short lines then most people do in entire stories. It's extraordinary and it hurts too. wonderful.

A rather touching drabble, and I think it could be more effective if you either seperated the large paragraph in the beginning, or just shortened it.

But other than that, I think this is the first time I've read angst from you, and it made me sigh. I hate angst, really, especially when it ends in death, but even I can't argue how emotive this was. Simple, to the point, but packed with a lot of emotion.

Good work. -sniff-

Bleep

Well...I don't really get it, but the title and the single paragraph lines are super inpiring! I kind of am in love with this so good job!

Oh, my god, this is beautiful. I was almost in tears, in only two hundred or so words. I love it.