FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Lurid Black 2008-03-15 ch 1,  | abuseI'm guessing you got the idea from that last poem? LoL, well I think you've written this really powerfully, and I can see you're improving |
| Laurena 2008-03-12 ch 1, | abusestrong, i think i feel the same about love, its sux **...most of the time... |
| xxopticaldelusions 2008-03-12 ch 1, | abuse[ review game ] I love the short and sharp lines in the middle like "addictive" "acid" "volatile", I think that really adds more intensity to the poem. I also like the repetition of "my life" "my heart" "my head". Haha, and nice metaphor. |
| Caffeinated Poison 2008-02-26 ch 1, | abuseWow. That pretty much summed up my lovelife. |
| Storming Leaves 2008-02-26 ch 1, | abuseThe idea is very good, i feel you could have done alot more with it though very good overall |
| S. M. Saves 2008-02-26 ch 1, | abuseMy suggestion would be to replace "Acidic" in the eighth line with another word since you already described love, the acid, as being like a drug. You could try words like "Toxic", "poisonous", "deadly", etc. |
| In the Rye 2008-02-26 ch 1, | abuseit feels like the chemical imagery could have been drawn out more. |