Reviews for Fatherly Love, New Version

Reviews For: Fatherly Love, New Version

Phantom'sLuv 2008-03-12 ch 3,	abuseThis is a really good story so far :D Please keep it going. I'd love to read more ~Phantom'sLuv
under the influence 2008-03-04 ch 3,	abuseI normally don't like it when characters are referred to by their last name, but it works here. It establishes the tone that Grace is trying to keep him at a distance. Nice chapter...can't wait for some action, tho.
Lady Knight 1512 2008-02-29 ch 3,	abuseNice. It seemed to have a fast pace, which helped to get across Grace's state of mind. She was sort of all over the place and having a hard time absorbing everything going on around her. I liked the argument between her and Jacob. There's a passage on gossipmongers somewhere in the Bible, isn't there? I'm sure there is. Somewhere. If you had that, it would have been great to have Jacob quote it at her, but oh well. The thing that got me though, was the 'communion table' or whatever it was that Grace saw. I've never, ever, seen or heard of a communion table, at least not in reference to the Catholic Church. They might have them for other Christian denominations, but as far as i know, Catholics don't use them. I can't wait for another chapter, and i wish i could write more, but i have to get started on an assignment for one of my classes. I have to get something to eat too actually, so maybe i'll do that first. LoL. Well! Update soon please! ~Marie
Marisa Gittinger 2008-02-29 ch 3,	abuseWow, this was really good, I still love this story. :) I can't wait to hear more about Mark since his story with Grace is still a little fuzzy. Also, I don't really know what was going on with the last two lines, but all in all, it was a very good chapter. :)
Marisa Gittinger 2008-02-29 ch 2,	abuseWow, this is insane. I think this is my favorite story yet! :) I really like Grace's POV on everything. :)
Marisa Gittinger 2008-02-29 ch 1,	abuseAW! I love it! I'm so excited to read this!
Lady R 2008-02-29 ch 3,	abuseI continue to feel sorry for Grace. She's so nervous around Jacob, I don't know I just feel for her, you know? Jacob has his work cut out for him. BTW, great description of her vomiting. I could just imagine the scene and getting grossed out in the process. LOL I don't know why, I'm a mother for crying out loud, I have seen my share of vomit! LOL Also, mid-way through when Jacob gets upset at Grace for acusing him of doing things to her, I think you want to add the word, "time" between "entire" and "you". Jacob starts off with "Listen, Lady..." I also thought you were going to bring back in this chapter the part where Grace is grieving over Ginger by thinking how much Ginger was her "vivacious puppy". I can't remember the exact words but it was deleted in the revised version of chapter 2. Being a dog person myself, it just added to the sadness.
LoneWolf-234 2008-02-28 ch 2,	abusevery good editing ^.^
Lady Knight 1512 2008-02-28 ch 2,	abuseBut i LIKED Ginger! Aww. That's so sad! What a horrible way to go. Squished by a semi. Ugh. Apart from this unwanted death, it was a good chapter. I particularly liked the descriptive words you used. Seriously. They really caught my eye for some reason. So, Jacob is going to help Grace cope, right? That's the general idea, i think. But Ginger was a guard dog too, wasn't see? Even if it was unofficial. What's Grace going to do now? ONE way to find out, would be for you update again. THAT would be nice. LoL. Well, if you want to. Far be it from me to force you into anything. LoL. I'm feeling very charitable today. Maybe because it's grey and dismal outside but it doesn't matter because Friday is the one day of the week i'm not required at school. sigh Happy day! LoL. ~Marie
Lady R 2008-02-28 ch 2,	abuseThanks for the explanation about the clothes at the end, because I was like, "What?" LOL Anyway, I didn't think this chapter needed improvement, but I read it again and it's actually better. More interaction between the two. That's why you're such a talented author. :)
under the influence 2008-02-28 ch 2,	abuseaw...puppy...:(
Lady Knight 1512 2008-02-27 ch 1,	abuseOMG. Grace is so lost. LoL. Is she always like that, or was she just thrown off by Jacob? It was funny though, and kinda cute. Not a lot more i can say about this yet unfortunately. Once the story starts rolling along and we know more about the characters, i imagine i'll have more to say. For the moment though, this is looking like it'll end up a good story. I look forward to reading more! ~Marie
Lady R 2008-02-27 ch 1,	abuseThis was great, and a refreshing change from the Dan/Bekah stories. I found Grace so cute with her nervousness. And my favorite line was "If that was the case, then he is a flat out blankety-blank, blank, blank!" That was so funny! I like the fact that Jacob seems older--in his thirties. That's an age I can relate to. LOL Looking forward to reading this one. :0)
under the influence 2008-02-27 ch 1,	abuseyay...you know I love this story...

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