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| Caolainn 2008-03-03 ch 1,  | abuseI have to say this was one of the more flashier bits I've read, you do have a way with words, but I at points I had to wonder if you were must spinning sentences that sounded eloquent or if you had some deeper meaning behind it all. I'd just be careful that you don't lose the readers. |
| ilovevampires2 2008-03-01 ch 1, anon. | abuseAnother great poem! YOu're extremely talented! |
| The Postscript 2008-02-29 ch 1, | abuseInteresting .. I'm not quite sure what to make of the poem, but it's a good starting point for lots of thoughts and ideas. Keep writing, k. |
| Tranquil Thorns 2008-02-29 ch 1, | abuseWell, this is very imaginative. (: So much so that I'm not sure I caught exactly what you were trying to depict here, but I did my best. The beginning drew me in. I especially liked the line 'I am hugging this rock here, in a red torn rag', because it seems to emphasize yearning and desperation. I'm not sure what you meant by 'I am dying here, to be remained in my youth'. I thought the rhyme sounded a little awkward, the way you phrased it. Maybe 'to remain in youth'? Hm. Same with 'with a big evil win'. For some reason I read it as 'with a big evil *grin*' the first time, haha. =P I'm probably missing something, though. Overall, though, interesting work! =) |