Wow. Very intense piece. The imagery and word choice were incredible! Definitely a favorite of mine. Excellent job! Thanks for the review!

I like this. I would like to point out something though. This line here- the waves will embrace me close than you have ever done

'the waves will embrace/ me close than you have ever done'- Should it not be 'closer'? I think it would flow better.

You have sporatic punctuation throughout your piece and when it happens, your capitalization matches, but it detracts from the flow of your piece.

Great subject matter. And your description of the sun in the last few stanzas is beautiful.

-J.A.

Courtesy of the review marathon (link on profile).

This is like a lover who feels very different from the person they're pouring their heart to. In that respect, this person who's in love with another person seems to be unaware of how much this person loves them. Unrequited love? Maybe you've been desperately trying to show them there's more to you than what she/he sees.

That's my take on it. You have excellent imagery, it would take me too long to comment on it all. But you're a wonderful poet, keep this up.

the imagery was interesting.