i love the last two lines in the first strophe.
"i've been around the block with blockheads just like you" - a nice repetition of 'block'. it makes it stick.

very powerful last lines.
but, a cliche in the end.

interesting.

you can take a cliche, and you can turn it into something unique and beautiful.
i'm eager to see how this develops.

this is so powerful and haunting,
excellent!

this is what disney meant to say.

clever and sad.

Wow, I love the format of this one. It's beautiful, the whole thing. Excellent job.=)
Smiles,
Danielle=)=)=)

Hey there, so sorry for taking so long to review anything. Life, as you know, is hectic. At any rate, you've put together a good number of short pieces here. I really like this one because of the simple ideals that are stated. The truth is that while they may appear simple, in fact they are far more complicated than meets the eye. They're something that many should aspire to reach for and hope for. I really like this and again apologise for the lack of reviews. Currently I'm writing finals, so I was procrastinating and reading some good writing. Have a great day.

Take Care
Lost in A World of Pain

i adore
the way you formatted this...

ouch.

:(
Shakespeare has NO right to judge your emo crap.

those last two lines speak volumes to me, unfortunately.

I love that first stanza. Your repetition was FANTASTIC and the last line totally completed your sentiments. And I liked the last stanza too, especially the first line. Though I DO like the last line, there is something about it that doesn't seem quite right. I dunno. But good job! And excellent job updating! You're almost over the hill!

:]

*gasp!* You updated! Woah!

Anywho, this is an interesting contrast to the original rhyme. But I wasn't too hot on what you put in for "sugar and spice" because 1. It seemed repetative and 2. both of those things didn't really seem bitter enough for me to make a point. But that's just my humble opinion. What do I know anyway?

Welcome back to the world of fictionpress [though I don't think I'm allowed to say that. the last time I updated was too long ago.]

This is so amazing, I love it. My favourite is the Alphabet Soup one, because it reminded me that when I was little and I used to bring Alphaghetti to school for lunch, I'd eat the letters and say I was eating whoever had a name that started with that letter. But that was just silliness, this is really cool, the messages in it. The whole thing is pretty sweet, I can't wait to read more of them!
Smiles,
Danielle=)