FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Undead Serenade 2008-08-03 ch 1,  | abuseSexy. Wow. It's pure flowing imagery and is leading us somewhere we all wonder if we should... The invitation... |
| interrobangdance 2008-07-25 ch 1, | abuseOoh creepy. Reptilian poetry! Ace. Even the way this is written seems to coordinate; it's simple and streamlined. That last line too, creepy AND primitively innocent too...nice job, not read something that makes me think in a while. |
| Glowing Aura 2008-06-08 ch 1, | abuseWhoo...very chilling. You made a simple reptile so...eerie, is the word. My favorite line: "Onto the jetty I wasn’t akin/To Darwin’s aquatic iguanas." |
| Arcane Hero 2008-03-15 ch 1, | abuse:3 Very pretty, and very sexy! :D |
| Johannas mirror 2008-03-14 ch 1, | abuseNice. |
| Mz. Malicious 2008-03-04 ch 1, | abuseI really like this. Plenty of imagery, and left up to the imagination. :) |
| Luminaerie 2008-03-03 ch 1, | abuseWow. That was amazing. I loved how you described iguanas. :] An awesome piece of poetry right here. Congrats. |
| Midnight In Eden 2008-03-02 ch 1, | abuseOne thought: if you're only going to use two commas and an ellipsis, just get rid of them. Leave this without punctuation, which I don't think you need. Also, solid imagery but the four lines of "Not that when I climbed...To Darwin’s aquatic iguanas" is a little convoluted because it's such a long tangent. I don't personally think the "onto the jetty" is necessary and as such, the removal of it might help keep the flow smoother. Otherwise, I like the imagery and the pacing. A solid poem. Midnight |