Interesting story, however, you cannot switch from first to third to first person like that. Also you need to fix your grammar. But good idea :D. -JSM

woah! Where is she going? Will she ever get back? What were they having for dinner!? the suspense ^_^
i love this story...you havent updated since 08! haha i just noticed that. :)
what were you shooting for with it?

A very funny and intereting read, but with a few flaws that threw me off.

First off, I love your introduction. The personal relationship the narrator has with the reader is something I admire and something I actually prctice in the single work I have posted here.

The thing is, I think this story would be done better in that first peron perspective. It allows for more flow of thought and gives a peek into the quirky mind of Valleriee.

The only other beef I had was the insane amount of unwarranted dialouge interrupted with stub paragraphs. Much too choppy. Try rearranging them or making your paragraphs and dialouge more distinct.

All in all, I love the casual tone of this work. It's fun to read.

All in all, 3/5. Points for originality and tone, negatives for format and sudden change in perspective.

Lol , I liked this it was fun to read ,really entertaining and an interesting concept behind it . I really hope that there is more to this than just this .

It was very realistic. I hope you continue it.