FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| TexasWatermelon 2008-03-04 ch 1,  | abuseHmm... this one was fun to read, really. The formatting of the word "after all" (I guess that would be wordS, huh?) kind of keeps up with that sensation of breathlessness. Or at least, that's how I imagine the italics and the spacing makes it sound when spoken. And of course the way dizzy was written was very important, but you pulled it off spectacularly because you're a pro like that. I liked that little bit at the end too, kind of like the clincher that makes you go "Oh... really?" Yay :D Tex |