You have some quite interesting ideas going on here. I think the last line could use some work, it puts a rant angle on poetry and while poetry can be very angry, a blunt statement after a few vague lines explaining your point doesn't quite work. I'm not saying that I dislike what you have here or that it isn't interesting, the idea of sinless sinners and that Jesus in a way is being forced to stay in a kind of deceitful paradise is interesting and I like that. I guess I'd like to see a little more of it too.

even if you deny Him, he still loves you. i beloive that one day, he will change your heart and you will see what mean

I was just wondering, how can you say that a poem claiming Jesus is not God had nothing to do with religion? I have nothing against your poem or expressing your own views but I am somewhat confused by your statement...?

I have to say that this has a lot of really good roots in it but it isn't presented well.

"And he is dead, in blissful heaven / I am in Hell, I am a sinless sinner" -- I like these lines but I think you could've delivered them better. There is little or no rhythm in this piece, which it sorely needs. (Ex: You repeated the word humanity twice within three lines. This really fucks up the rhythm.) There are also several disconnected thoughts. Try using several stanzas to break up ideas.

I think that if you spent more time on rhythm and the mechanics of poetry instead of just flopping words onto paper and posting it that people would respect your point of view more.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you feel about religion, but I do think you could present it differently.

-stix-

According to cannonized gospels, Jesus did love, he did die for you, he did care for you and all of humanity. And i dissagree with this poem a great amount. This is not a flame but a mere expression of how i beleive you to be ignorant and wrong.

Well, everyone has their own veiws on religion especially God and Jesus...and you have to respect them for that.