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| artificial destiny 2008-06-02 ch 2,  | abusehmm it was good, nice dialogue and great descriptions. the only thing that bothered me was the underline. its just a pet peeve of mine though (bolding/underlining makes it seem unprofessional) good job though! |
| artificial destiny 2008-06-02 ch 1, | abusei love the beginning, nice way to hook the reader "She hated the old furniture in it she'd never liked and wasn't able to sell." kind of redundant. cool ending. i want to know what happens! |
| Eclipsia Soulbird 2008-05-18 ch 1, | abuseMy, she is the negative one, isn't she... I like Cade though ;) Onto Chapter 2... |
| vio923 2008-05-14 ch 7, | abuseCute story! Some questions though -- why is Cade over their house so much. He is obviously much younger than Jeff and Annie -- doesn't he have any friends his own age? As for Leona's ex selling her apartment -- that is not realistic. He would have to prove ownership first -- before someone would sign a contract with him. Unless the apartment was in both their names that isn't possible. |
| Victoria 2008-05-14 ch 6, anon. | abuseI just found this story and then you decide to not update it. It is really quite good. It could use a little polishing but I really like it. I hope you decide to update soon. |
| ArghImaPirate 2008-05-14 ch 7, | abuse*sniffles* |
| cls81690 2008-04-23 ch 6, | abuseHey there! I like this quite a bit, it's really vivid and has this entire warm tone to it. One thing I would like to see is a bit of an explanation for why it wasn't awkward with Annie, Jeff, or the girls. Also, we need to see more interaction with Jeff. There has to be some father-daughter moments or else...well, it's a bit of a swiss-cheese plot at the moment. But I can't wait to see you fill in all the holes. |
| ArghImaPirate 2008-04-17 ch 6, | abuseWe I |
| ArghImaPirate 2008-04-15 ch 5, | abuseWhat a meanie! ooh..when's the competition coming? Error: Jeff had told her none of them (* new *)any Spaniards or Mexicans. I'm assuming it was *knew* not knew |
| ArghImaPirate 2008-04-12 ch 4, | abusewoot woot! I love corny-ness!~ It was pretty funny how he waylaid to tacky htough :) Aw me gusta cade! :) ARGH |
| theslykit 2008-03-17 ch 3, | abuseplease update soon! :D |
| ArghImaPirate 2008-03-17 ch 3, | abuseI'm suprised at the lack of reviews! This story is wondefully written so far and has a good plot. Hmm, people surprise me. I'm thoroughly enjoying myself with this one! Woot. I'm pretty exicted for the reasoning to sunshine. Cade is a hoot. I am sad to say that I have never actually seen Grey's Anatomy. But I loe HOuse! |
| ArghImaPirate 2008-03-10 ch 2, | abuseAw, cade is a sweetie! He's so personable! :) And the nicknames are cute. Why did he choose sunshine? |
| writejoy 2008-03-05 ch 1, | abuseWell-written, very real and the outlook of an exciting story. I hope you keep going because it has lots of potential - especially driven by a character with such kick! ;) You asked for critisicms and there's only one i can think of - when you wrote about Leona reading in italics then her thinking in italics, i was a bit confused at first whether she was reading it or not until i realised the ">" sign in front of the words when she reads. Just a little thing but little things go a long way ;) Thanks also for favouriting my story - i hope you really enjoy it! Keep on writing - you definitely have a talent :) writejoy |
| blondiexoxo 2008-03-05 ch 1, | abusehey i like this story so far i hope u update soon it sounds like an interesting story |