wow that is amazing. its all so true and it really makes u think, that was totally brilliant!

Hehe! u still in contact with jaqui brick road? yeah but i remember hehe!the site won't let me put my stuffs up 4 2 days...gr! but then i shall. your stuffs amazing!

I've got to disagree with the actual content, but the rendering was good. There was some really unique phrasing in there: 'humanity’s optician a business bankrupt, left to decay as none tend to its maintenance', I think, was my favorite line. I'm not sure about the lines of periods at the end of every line; they seemed superfluous.

As I said before, I've got to disagree on content. 'Innocence', 'beauty', 'truth'- all of these are so subjective that it can be argued they never existed, depending upon who you ask, and certainly not in the utopian quantity you seem to be looking for. Personally, I find them all kind of presumptuous in how transient they are. We have depravity, but at least it's frank.

Fix your summary. You ramble and leave out random letters- it repels readership. If you can't write a summary, just put one of the lines from the piece out there. Then you won't be destroying your own image.