o. where are the others, when zack is trying to kill our poor hero? they must come and save him. or not. that actually would makes things interesting, :D.

Not bad, for a week (Is that a personal record?). Waiting for more, more, MORE.

~Domozao ;)

Little F.Y.I but the very first sentence of the chapter is repeated twice. Otherwise it's good.

~Domozao

Dude, that chapter rocked the house (literally). I know this is late, but I regret not reading it sooner; I was so into it that I couldn't even look for typos or mistakes (though I'm pretty sure there weren't any). Anyway, the story's moving pretty quick so I'm going to hurry up and read the next chapters.

~Domozao :)

omigosh! just what did they stick in him?

Whoo! That was exciting! Wonder what's going on with the two creepy dudes?

I don't know if I would describe the fight scene as "wooden", just maybe a little awkward in places. I dunno... sometimes it seemed like Ken was able to take a little too much pain, and when he said "Gotta hide, gotta hide.' it just didn't feel real, or kinda cliche. And I also didn't really get why the two guys were so eager to beat the crap out of him just for trying to run away. I thought they would try an reason with him more or something; using force as a last resort. I honestly would have had more talking/discussion, and a shorter fight scene to make the fight more dramatic. But if you're trying to say something about their characters it was okay.

All in all though, (cause I down want to totally rain on you parade) I think it was a good chapter with the action beginning to pick up. (some stuff just bugs me a little)

Please update soon! Your loyal reviewer... :)

~Domozao

Much thanks for the review you gave me first of all; I never would have seen the typos...

And you effectivly succeeded in cracking me up; I laughed at the end with the "mystery men", but in a good way. (It's so MIB)

Great first chapter, and I see your mystery editor did a pretty good job. I'm gonna wait for the next chapter, so don't get bored of this story too and just drop it!

~Domozao