FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| simply amanda 2008-03-18 ch 1,  | abusei can't wait for summer either and this poem totally sums up my feelings!! ah, i liked it. here's a couple things to improve on, though: since you did rhyming pattern ABAB AND your syllable count in each line was irregular, the beginning of your poem was kinda rough, but don't worry, it smoothed itself out. That's the only thing I have to criticize (and I'm not trying to be mean or anything, just trying to help!!). I liked how you used adjectives to describe otherwise nondescript things (like "the lovely stains"), and I think that really made a difference when I read the poem. Altogether, I liked it and that I could relate to it!! (only 2 1/2 months til summer!) |
| skinnyjeans.wb 2008-03-06 ch 1, | abuseuh, the ocean? ...:/ too bad you live in KANSAS! |