This is a very good story. Keep heading in that direction. My favorite part would have to be the first line of the ruby red sun shone...Good Job!

I like where this is going, but your transitions from scene to scene are very vauge. It suddenly jumps from one place to another with out a real break or sign that it is changing.

I like where this is going.

Just one comment though...In the last paragraph when Vallen starts yelling at his father about his mother, it takes a second to relieve that it is VALLEN who is yelling and not his father...Its just a small thing, but i figured it would be better to mention it.

I'm highly interested to see where this one is going. From the title, and the first chapter, it should be an adventure for both you nad your readers