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| Lady Ravenesque 2008-03-09 ch 1,  | abuseVery nice >:) Even though I am sadistic, I'm not being biased when I say it was written very well. |
| Kyllorac 2008-03-07 ch 1, | abuseThe first line "Dripping dropping" almost killed my attention. I'm not sure why, but I think it's because it immediately evokes memories of bad poetry. It also does not fit in with the rest of the poem. I would suggest removing it. The rest of the poem, on the other hand, is very intriguing. The imagery you used is uncommon, and quite creative. I particularly like this last part: "A picture/ A room/ Covered in a single color/ The color of stupidity/ The color of shattered dreams/ The color of life/ The color of death/ The color of blood." Just one last thing: "spredding" should be spreading. |
| fleur de l'est 2008-03-07 ch 1, | abuseThis is really intense and has a very sharp and strong imagery... Very powerful descriptions and implications, best I've read in ages!! |