FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Tawny Owl 2008-03-25 ch 1,  | abuseThis is very lyrical and it sounded a bit like a poem in places. I found the change in perspective at the end is a bit confusing, and it seemed to break the flow a bit. I like some of the images you create though. Like: “littering the earth with a splendor of copper rust melded within coffee and citrus”. |
| ArumLily 2008-03-16 ch 1, | abuseThis isn't just a"puny attempt at exploring more capricious emotions"! It's actually quite good. |
| Twilight Starr 2008-03-10 ch 1, | abuseNice, dramatically written piece. I liked the first/last line. Good job! ~Twilight Starr~ |