Reviews for Higher than Asphalt

Reviews For: Higher than Asphalt

Nemonus 2008-04-13 ch 1,	abuseExcellent. This could almost be prose the way it's written, but its also sing-songy, tale-around-the-fire-y, so the poetry works well to draw the eye downward quickly. The beginning lines were my favorite, about the pool hall and the boys, because they were so true. "the twitching thing" was an excellent way to describe the captured bird, both vital and impersonal, as a half-alive (half-there anyway) creature would be.
no.peace.los.angeles 2008-03-16 ch 1,	abuseOh, that is just tragic. I love the title. It really says so much. And the entire poem really does tell a story and set a mood. I've just been noticing how different your poetry is lately than it had been before and am curious about what precipitated that change. I mean, it's not bad, obviously, but I'm just a curious person. Of course, if you don't want to share, that's fine, too, but feel free. :) I'll listen. Keep writing! :)
soccerfreak18 2008-03-15 ch 1,	abuseaw, not many people would do something like that for an animal. made me smile. i liked it the ending was great. =]
Aquafied 2008-03-15 ch 1,	abuseat sixteen the world changes
ayadora 2008-03-14 ch 1,	abuseaww. aw.
Ryan Schiff 2008-03-11 ch 1,	abuseInteresting poem, a bit long and blocky (you might want to work with the formatting to get it into proper stanzas). The casual names and spesific places gives it a very personal, immediate feel. The main issue is stopping the lines where it feels natural to end them instead of just stopping them for no good reason. I think if you went back through and did that the poem would work a whole lot nicer.
Steampunk Champagne 2008-03-10 ch 1,	abuseOh...that gave me the shivers, it did. Absolutely beautiful. The prose-like format made it seem more like a story than a poem, and the imagery you used sent fingers of ice running up my spine. "At sixteen, sadness comes easy, yet you gotta' come off tough 'cause they'll verbally slice you up if they catch on you're soft, so I told them I was going to meet a girl in Hampton." That line in particular caught my fleeting attention. The rhythym is so spectacular, I can hear the music in my head. And that's not something to pass off lightly, believe you me; it's been my goal for years to make silent music in someone's head. "I figured that if she could no longer fly, I'd put her high enough up to get a feeling of familiarity before she would winglessly ascend." This was, truly, the crescendo of your poem. I got this feeling of falling when I read it, it was so beautiful. Words cannot even describe the magnificence of it. The idea of a person putting something flightless in the air just to remember what it feels like...amazing. It takes some serious skill to break into my sluggish, jaded thing of a soul, but you absolutely just did it. I'm truly, breathlessly, privilidged to have this in my favorites. With undying gratitude for reaffirming my faith that there is magnificent undiscovered talent in the world, Steampunk Champagne.

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