|Reviews for Pandora|
| in theory 8/25/09 . chapter 1
When I first opened this the last line leapt out, with the swearing, and throughout reading the rest that phrase kept popping up in my head. I think the title is perfect; it's quite an overused idea in 'modern' poetry (or at least it is in most of what I've read that's been written recently), but you only refer to it vaguely. And the title being "Pandora" not "Pandora's Box" gives it another level of meaning, as if the woman/subject of the poem is even more fascinating, dangerous and in a way terrifying than the box.
Right on to format... I didn't like the lack of punctuation (this is a general pet habit of mine anyway though) BUT I was struck with how punctuating only the final two lines brought a real drama to what you were saying. So all in all, I still don't like the lack of commas/full stops but can't deny they're not really necessary.
The first two lines of the second stanza made very little sense to me I'm afraid. The whole idea of Pandora's Box (to me) is danger, unpredictability, the promise of everything you want and everything you don't. But even if I've just misinterpreted it, "even the emptiness when you're gone" doesn't make any grammatical sense, and I'm struggling to understand what you meant by it.
By far my favourite part of this is the first and last stanza.
"those freckles only I get to see" is very pretty.
And "I love you." has such a dramatic weight, it's the one phrase that's hard to work into poetry as simply as how you did without it sounding cliche.
All in all, I enjoyed this piece, but the middle section struggles to live up to the other two in terms of meaning, impact and style. Not to say I hated the middle bit, it just seemed ... a little plonked.
This probably sounds extremely rude, I do apologise, I'm tactless without coffee in me. I will read some of your other pieces to make up for it! :)