Well, what can I say, you're an awesome writer.

Wow.

All I can say to this is that I don't like the name Cort, but that's just comparably insignificant o_O Wow.

Moon's Poetess

I tend to not review stories as much as poetry, so please pardon my lack of helpful critique. However, I wanted to express that the beginning of this story is a joy to read, and I do hope that you'll write more of this. You do a good job of providing enough description to give the reader a background for characters' personalities without adding anything that slows down the story. In fact, the story becomes pregnant with anticipation of how the characters will cause the story to unfold.

Beautiful writing. Your imagery is superb, and I loved the opening paragraph. I do wonder how old Cort is. You mention he's in a nursery, but it sounds like he is approaching that age in which he wants to be grown up. It's not altogether conflicting, but enough to leave some doubt. Maybe we'll find out in the next chapter. Anyway, the tension toward the end was well-written. I can't wait to read more.

Great job!

I love your descriptions. "the ceiling was nothing more than stone, as pasty and irregular as a handful of oatmeal" and "Seconds dripped by like honey" were great. Sounds like this is going to be a good one.

Okay, here's my review. Organized for convenience's sake.

1)"For the fourth day in a row the boy arose to find that the sun had failed to keep his promise." That's an absolutely amazing lead-in line.

2)"Did Eldon grieve the sun, too?" maybe 'grieve for', but with your writing style you can kinda get away with it. It tends to say things in ways that I don't expect them to be said, which I really approve of.

3)Having read the first chapter, I'm finding it kinda hard to critique. And I mean that as a compliment. Your writing style is lovely and, although it's usually the case that lovely writing slows the pace of the story down, this one moves at a fair clip. So, I can't critique your writing much, except to say that I'd really like to read more of it. I will be able to critique your plot and characters, but that might take me another chapter to be able to do very well. I hardly feel like I know them yet, but they're certainly intriguing.
Basically, my review boils down to a question: will you be writing any more of this? I'd really like to read it.

-SC

Very interesting and promising start! I can't wait to read more. =) Your imagery is beautiful and propels the plot along well. The relations of the characters are also portrayed very nicely--good job.

Very good start. Fascinating. Keep writing

You've got my interest. Nice handling of the introducing characters and setting very, you haven't bombared the reader with gaudy info, but revealed enough to get us interested. I'm intrigued to find out what happens. Great stuff!

Whoa, what happened to poor Eldon? Very interesting, m'dear. ^ ^ No mistakes that I can see. But I wonder how they would survive without sunlight...?

-Ramen