Reviews for Stranger In The Mirrior

Kaledri
2008-03-26
ch 3,

abuseYour characters are extremely unrealistic. It's kind of annoying. I don't know how things work in your world, but in reality, people don't just go, "Hey, I'm blah; wanna go to a movie?" Also, if Krissy is trying to reinvent herself so hard, why would she go and tell Kelly what happened? Not to mention the fact that Kelly knowing someone Krissy knew is highly unlikely; there are more than six billion people in the world. And I fail to understand why Kelly would be pale when Krissy told her what had happened. All Krissy told her was that Blake had died, not why he died or anything. In all, the only thing about the last two chapters that was even passably decent was the end of the third chapter being a cliff-hanger. Not impressed.

Kaledri
2008-03-10
ch 1,

abuseOoh, that was a nice beginning! Really hooks the reader.
You've got a few grammar problems, though; go through and check your verb tenses-make sure it's all past tense. ;) Also, in most of your cases, you want "then," not "than." The latter is used when you're comparing things. The former is used as a time expression (i.e. Then, she went home).
Keep writing!

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