Reviews for I Am Mud Cheeks - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: I Am Mud Cheeks

Arcane D. 2008-03-30 ch 1,	abuseI'm afraid i'm going to have to disagree with most of the readers here and say that it really wasn't as striking or moving or as profound as they claim for it to be. first off, the title was intriguing which led me to check the piece out. the title is simple in context, but effective. moving on to the actual piece itself, first off i have to comment on how the formatting on the piece really had me annoyed, confused and irritated for the most part. there were times when it was effective, but most of the time it felt like you were too much off on a tangent and had the effect like the person writing this had ADD (don't know if that was intentional or not) and couldn't compose a complete thought. i understand that this is supposed to be a thought-provoking piece and is supposed to have the reader feel sympathy towards this kinda poetry but rather... i feel something on the contrary. a feeling of slight disgust at the simple fact that while people are reading and reviewing this they exploit themselves at the pure raw emotion when they should be feeling pity. you see, it feels to me as if they're not concerned about the issue in itself but the literary devices and the syntax and the formatting and all that jazz. so what if it's powerful, so what if it's effective? at the end of the day, you've done nothing that could have changed the world but inform, and that simply is not enough. a wise writer, and friend once told me that "words have the power to inspire and incite but not the power of change in itself". if you really want to make a difference... do something. get out there and take action... donate money, blood, food, any tangible necessities that we take for granted. i don't know maybe my notions upon poetry is convoluted when in comparison to other people but as a person, and as a fellow writer i'd like to read a piece from you that has alot more of what i call 'personal' factor. something with utter sincerity and depth - something that you, yourself is going through so we, as the audience can comment on something that is much more describable and relatable.(even if you don't want it to be) i thank you for the read, and have decided to put you within my author alert so we could keep in touch and that i can also drop by and check out your stuff when you update. (and thanks to you i guess i'm a bit more informed) arcane
no.peace.los.angeles 2008-03-28 ch 1,	abuseYou're incredible. Have I ever told you that? I mean, Jesus, imagine what my poetry would look like now if I had been writing like this when I was 17. Damn. I love the stream-of-consciousness, the "losing your mind" mentality you've got going on, just everything about it. Really really nice. It's fragmented, but it works because it's real and it's a homeless person who probably is like this. Fantastic. I don't know how you do it. Keep writing! :)
brevis 2008-03-15 ch 1,	abusepowerful. I enjoyed it.
Oh-hum 2008-03-13 ch 1,	abuseI swear your on drugs -nods- ^_^ But that's okay with me...just share! Haha. Love you Julian!! Jo-Jo
.mate.feed.kill.repeat. 2008-03-13 ch 1,	abuseThis changes so much from start to end. The first like really dragged me in; it was so ...vulgar, I guess. The entire piece was captivating, I've never seen anything like it. It was very unique and creative, well-written, and flowed beautifully. Great job. -stix-
Lady Fingers 2008-03-12 ch 1,	abusegod this is so fucking amazing it feels so familiar (but not like i've heard it before) it feels like home (if that is possible...) very provacative and it makes me hungry for your words sex. yes sex.
Blacknimproud 2008-03-11 ch 1, anon.	abuseI must say Julian... This was one of your best pieces yet. I can agree it was a bit long... But so full of heart-crunching meaning, it made me see a world that I never really took time to picture on my own. May God help this country.
Tytherpol 2008-03-11 ch 1,	abuseyou know this is really neat. it was so long that at parts i just wanted it to end already but that's of course a personal problem-- the piece is still a killer thought. you know there actually are a homeless man and woman who live outside of the white house in a tent. i think they've been there for like 20something years. but they want to end weaponry, i think. my memory is crap sometimes, and i only heard it once. your hook immediately reminded me of that i guess mudracker who we taked abt in history class. i can't remember his name or what he wrote (god i'm no help lol) but i remember talking about how he described the situations honestly and violently..esp the smells like urine. so i thought it was pretty amazing how your character was trying to be the voice for himself. it's a kind of twisted logic for the man who is supposed to be inferior to feel he has rights to speak through 'the man'. it's pretty neat really i like your prom and a lot of your food and i really like your running for president but parts of it were much weaker to me esp the clothes part/handkerchief part. i almost lost respect for your character then. and the endind is neat but gets a little careless but of course you write awesomely. just because i've found things that bother me doesn't take away from the fact that it's the coolest thing i have read in a while. keep it up. -ty.
simpleplan13 2008-03-11 ch 1,	abuseOk my first question is are the dashes on the side just because you had issues with fp formatting or are they intentional because I found them odd... It's really interesting... the description at the beginning of the first and second stanzas were really disgusting.. almost nasueatingly so, but that fit the idea of this poem absolutely perfectly... I also love the part about the sign and how you intentionally messed with the spelling because it again was so fitting to the piece Really great job.

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