sorry if this review is slightly late. well, i was at sleep away, no electronics camp all week.

anyways, i really liked this chapter, but found it ironic that this jesus lam person was asian for two reasons.

1) i was at a christian sleep away camp
2) i am a halfie, half chinese, half whit!

hellz yeah. update, SOON!

I think this story is very unique, in a good way. Most stories I have seen have the same story line; boy meets girl, fall in love, they live happily ever after...You put a twist to your story and you made your readers think twice about judging people that are different than us by creating Chelsea. You also made your characters come alive and that is a gift that not all writers could master. I am looking forward to the next chapter!

Who's = who is/has. Whose = possessive. "That phrase I’d picked up from Chelsea, who’s nonsensical, needlessly offensive religious cussing made me laugh and cheered me up."

this was a really good first chapter. it was long and well written. now im just waiting for chapter two :]:]

No(insert space here)one was around to hear her, and I was glad


that was your only mistake (that i caught).

and, ftr, this was easily the best first chapter you have ever written. i expect a second chapter ASAP...im still your muse right?

btw, i was about to write a story with a character named Sebastian in it...w/e.

good start. update soon!