Yeah, the style really did grow on me. I'm not used to it and it was refreshing. I like your characters still, the uncle and the twelve year old kid are nice, realistic yet weird additions. The dialouge is good too. I want to know how this ends! Keep at it.

oh my lord. that was intense! I'm not sayin it was bad, just shocking is all. I think I like the style of this, and I definately like the subject matter and your characters so far.

Another very well written chapter. The first part of dialog however, is quite confusing. I was unable to tell who was talking to who. I had thought first that it was Larry, then Stanley who was talking to Violet, but she wasn't even talking at all. This sentence here
The second person- a guy, I presume-laughs sourly
should help, but doesn't really. It just makes you think that Violet is presuming that she is talking to a guy, having not looked up.

However, it was this that cleared it up for me.
I mimic her annoying voice in my head
indicating that there was a girl as well.

Besides that, everything else was great, clever writing as usual, and we learn more about the personality of Violet. I really liked the line
it has to be spontaneous
and glad that you were able to work it in twice, shows more about the kind of girl she is.

Please continue, as I will be reading.

Read everything you have so far and I must say it is different, but in a very good way. I'm tired of reading stories with all these words that you have to google to make sense of them, and that just pile on the detail until your just skipping lines until you get to some dialogue.

It sort of takes a while to figure out whats going on, and the story seems to jump around a little bit, but its nothing a seemingly intelligent person can't figure out.

You have some nice characters here, which I'm pretty sure some people can relate too. And don't listen to people that say to tone down on the cursing. You have already warned them about it, and it greatly adds to the realism.

Anyways, I would really like to see you continue with this. I'll be keeping on eye on this story.

I think you need to write more of this. It is really good - though I am not quite understanding what is going on. =D Write more!

I like the really simplistic style. it's very cool. please add more soon :)

OH MAN. This really made me laugh. My favorite line was "Cus I think you’re angry and I’m kinda angry too."

hah.

really interesting and really different.

please don't feel obliged to review me back. I write **... completely different **. I enjoyed and that's all that matters.

The cursing is a little heavy for my taste. But most of it was pretty funny. I wish I could say more but this being a short story, there really isn't much else to say. It's good. Maybe cutting down on the cursing could help. But you definitly got some comedic talent and I look forward to future works from you.