FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| electric feel 2008-03-28 ch 1,  | abusetear and the seam is a great title and phrase |
| simpleplan13 2008-03-12 ch 1, | abuseI think a comma between reading and seeping would help the flow a lot. I also don't think the (my heart) is really needed at the of that line... I got it without that and it makes the line a bit long But I love how its fixed with the look on their face... that's very sweet and true and I also love the last three lines because they created a very pwoerful iamge |