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| Matthew James Current 2008-03-15 ch 1,  | abuseDeeply cynical and very concise. Yet a good balance of allegory and observation in it. My only cogent critique would be that the last line could perhaps do with some refinement. Being such a short poem, using the word compost again so near its first use stands out strongly. If this is your intent, you accomplished it well. Personally, I view the last line as a chance to really enrich the poem. I think that a little choice diction and replacing the word "compost" in the last line could add an extra snap to this piece and reinforce the tone in a different or unexpected way. Since you ask for the kind of review I attempt to specialize in, I will do my best to critique some of your work. Whether or not you do the same for me is up to you, all I would ask is you intersperse some positive comments in with the critique. I wish you well in all your writing endeavors. |
| I.O.K.O 2008-03-12 ch 1, | abuse... and there's a shortage of chairs. |