I know they are supposed to be very rich, but eight thousand sounds a bit much. The original 800 was more believable, or even bring it up to 10, but that's just my opinion, I do like this new Mem better so far.

wow. rewriting the story. i can see the difference. cant wait for the next improved chapter.:D

i really like the original version though i like how you made the whole auction thing for Africa.

loved it i want more plz update soon

First off I would like to say that your writing had spoken to me more than any other fiction writer I have encountered on this site. You are truly gifted with words and I could only hope to write half as well as you do.

I deeply enjoyed reading When You Own the Universe. It was like a breath of fresh air. Finally, a main character that isn't perfect and majorly screws up! Watching Rememberance gradually do a complete 180 in her perception of Jonah was near perfect; it wasn't rushed and it didn't drag excruciatingly so. I felt that I really could connect with your characters which I don't find myself doing often.

I'll admit though, it was kinda of hard to get into the story in the beginning and bit choppy in places mostly because some things like the auction in the beginning weren't really eleborated on, but once the story got rolling it began to flow better in terms of plot.

I think it's wonderful that you are revamping your story to match your current writing ability. As a composer and a writer I cannot begin to tell you how many times I've had to completely rework an entire movement in an orchestral piece or completely rework the first 10 chapters of a story that I had been working on.

I am currently in the process of writing my first novel and I would love to have feedback from someone like you on it. You can find a summary in my profile. As of right now it is not on this site but I will be posting the first chapter soon.

All in all I really enjoyed this beautiful story; never EVER stop writing!

Thanks!
Mariah B♥

I really love all your stories and I enjoy reading them. Keep up the great work! Your stories are awesome!

I honestly like this chapter, Mem sounds more mature and complex but I'm curious, will you write the whole story on Mem's point of view or are you going to keep the original version's system? I really love Jonah's way to see things.

Please keep posting.

Wow, I just finished the original (which I loved, by the way) and now read this revamped version. Love it!

Anyways, can't wait for the rest of the new version of this story!

I'm so glad you're doing a redux version of this, and posting it separately from the original. The original was one of my favorite stories ever--but of course there were some grammatical and stylistic points that, I suppose, could have been better. (But I say that of any of my old works, too, whether they're from one year or one week ago.)

The writing definitely seems better here, although I'm not sure yet if I like this version better than the original. I really hope you'll keep going with this, though--this is one of my favorite stories, and I really love all of these characters, and seeing a redux version of this just about made my day haha.

Have an awesome day. :)

I love this line: “Eight thousand dollars.” The first voice – the voice of Satan himself – said calmly and after a moment of silence I could practically here him smirk.

That part about Satan had me laughing. I really like the fist chapter, because it introduces the main characters and their relationships quite well. Update soon! :)

Very nice and I have to say I can see the maturity in this version vs the old one already. I am also happy you seem to have eliminated the whole "she forgot they were friends" bit as it was imo one of the weak points of the original version. I am very much looking forward to reading the re write of a story that always had so much potential to be one of the best on here.

Hi! I haven't read the original, but I like this chapter :) . I think it's a good thing Remembrance has a twin, that makes the story more interesting, and I really like her name a lot!

Definitely loads of improvement on the details- like the reason why she got into the whole Bachelorette Auction thing- and the story has a tighter hold on the plot. However, I like the way Remembrance used to narrate everything. She was less serious and more sarcastic then...

'I glared at my brother until he turned to look at me and then mouther out the word Sold?'

i miss The Matchmaker's Best Friend!! It was my favourite story to be honest. Are you gonna post it up again??