well written for the most part; a few structural errors particularly in the predictability and lack of substance for the dialogue. however, the dialogue does pick up as it goes and the overall flow is rather impressive. the author's use of foreshadowing, as well as playing the roll of omnipresent narrator at the end is a clever turn and it will be interesting to see how she carries on with the rest of the story

Bitten, I always get SO confused when I read your story. I get the names all jumbled up in my brain! Could you make a litte list in your prologue or something that has the names in groups by family or something. That would help so much! -Emmi

Hmm... This chappie was slightly confusing, but I learned a little more. Update quickly! ;D

Hey, kiddo, this chapter is lookin' pretty good! It's so... ominous! I was really drawn in when I read it, and I've read it before. You've improved it so much!! Good job. Keep writing.

mostly very good...but a little gushy gushy in the tree thing...PDA...lol, but Keilah cracks me up...very nice character, did you model her after someone you know? I'm pretty sure that person would be the coolest ever...yeah. overall very good. nice story

Huh. The kiss was a bit random. I'm mildly confused. Sounds cool, though. Hurry up!