I loved the references to songs. Overall, I like this poem :)

This is so beautiful! I love the little song references, the dialogue, the parenthetical asides, all of it!

this is wonderful. everything about it. i have read it over and over and that is the same conclusion i get to every time. lyrical and pretty like poetry, but formatted and read like prose (did that make sense? whatever). beautiful-ness.

I can't think of words to describe how much I love this piece. It just is amazing. The allusions to different things make you think and say that sounds familiar, and the key at the bottom helped. And the entire subject matter was so interesting and you put it all together in a nice non-cliched way, because fairy tales are talked about a lot in poetry, but it was different in this. And the dialogue between these two people went well with the piece. The ending was so tragic and just a great way to end this piece.

Adding to my Favorites :)

absolutely gorgeous prose,

you know what the reader wants.

I love this. Especially the last two lines. Beautiful writing as always.

when i read through it a second time or so, there were a couple lines that seemed to me just sloppy cliched but overall i do have say that i adore this, theres a sentiment to it and a mood that just grasps and makes me feel so heartbroken and rather tired, you have such a way of making your poems feel so personal to the reader, at least in my case, which i must say requires some talent there

.

GOD, YOU OWN MY HEART.

beautiful. good job.

The last line touches my heart("you shouldn't" because i'll only break your heart") because something similar happened to me...that's in her opinion. There was lots of crap going on and after all of it, she said that I should bear to talk to her. Well, I didn't care.

This poem is very beautiful and it represents a relationship that has gone or is about to go wrong.

*adds to faves*

-Mika

I love the way you started this - the idea of taking the time to say something right because it might be the most poetic thing he's ever said, that's just fantastic. I don't know how I feel about using the song lines, just because it makes the poem less you and more someone else, but I suppose, it's not bad, by any means. I've certainly done it before (usually in a poem about that artist/their music, but I digress). This is still very nice. Keep writing! :)

This was breathtaking well done. I love how you fitted in other lyrics etc, especially the Coldplay ones. That song is just so beautiful.

Well done with this.

Keep up the great work!

Vixta

Recognizing that line from "Yellow" broke my heart - there's a lot of hurt in this poem and longing and loveliness, if that even makes sense. Take care, it's good seeing something new from you, I missed reading your poetry.

hah

you know, calendar hung itself is my favorite bright eyes song

out of some over a hundred songs

or it was for a very long time. and i got that it was taken from the song the second i read it, hah. that is a bit crazy.

i know what you feel

and only if you are saying this from the girl's perspective.

this generation is made of cruel, cruel girls.

it is like all of those stories told us would happen

and those feminist movements

boys are weak and fall in love and girls become more cruel and break hearts with their wayward words.

Why is the first one sometime and the second one sometimes? I felt like they should both be sometimes...

"thinks, hard" I just felt with all the other beautiful word choices you could find a better choice for hard

came back home in a body-bag... is not a full sentence and therefore cannot come after a semicolon

In the fourth stanza you have one bracket, but not another one.. I think maybe you meant to put the other one after rhyme?

and i love you far to much.. too

I like this piece a lot... I caught two of three notes.. i really love how you repeat him talking and I also love the second stanza . That was my favorite especially how you put "big, bad, ugly war" kinda like a description out of a fairtytale... I also love in the last part the idea of heartache spilling forth... nice job