FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| creepy kiss on tuesday 2008-06-17 ch 1,  | abuseYour poetry makes me breathe differently, if that means anything to you. |
| .she.screamED.fantasies. 2008-03-29 ch 1, | abuseTheres something bittersweet and I love it. I absolutely do. |
| no.peace.los.angeles 2008-03-14 ch 1, | abuseThis is pretty. I love "blue-framed." So interesting. The ending was also quite lovely. The only real criticism I have is that you have a misplaced modifier in the first stanza - the way it's currently worded makes it sound like the bright light is trying to learn how to lean nonchalantly, which, although intriguing, doesn't make a whole lot of sense. And I know you meant that you were trying to learn how to lean, so just changing the wording to, "I am surprised by . . ." would do wonders in making the meaning clearer. Very nice poem. Keep writing! :) |
| lackluster 2008-03-14 ch 1, | abuse"maybe there's too much hope in my gaze" honestly: beautiful it reminds me of zero7's video "destiny". but that's probably just me. either way, i adore the sadness that seeps through this. the words are drenched in it. and your note just added to that effect. great work |