whoa, good job

this was written really beautifully

and the way you ended the poem really fit

the flow by how you repeated those lines

you used a lot of great figurative language

which made your poem really strong

and i think that's what poetry is all about

so ya, kudos

I like the sweet, dreamy quality of this poem. You have a very natural flow and I like the sound of the semi rhyme scheme. In a few places, I think it loses the rhythm...I feel like 'don't fall away from me, please don't leave just yet' should be 'don't fall away from me, don't leave yet' - but maybe you read it differently than I do. Also, the section from 'telling me what is real' to 'where we want to be...' seems like it loses the flow a little bit. I would suggest just to take out those two lines. Lastly, your ending is perfect, how it gently repeats the rhyme from the beginning.