FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Lurid Black 2008-03-22 ch 1,  | abuseGreat, incredibly descriptive, like; ‘More than just her porcelain skin’ Reading other poems... I see you haven’t taken random things you wanted to add, and put it all together, and by the look of it... it must’ve taken ages to finish, stunning really, write on =] |
| Moon's Poetess 2008-03-16 ch 1, | abuseWow. I'm astonished. Anyway, really like it. At first it seemed a poem of the most depressing type, and all the words you use... yet it's hopeful, and beautiful. The mixture works well together. I like how you wrote the first stanza: "tall and proud" ... "clean and pure" ... "battered and broken". Lovely imagery and alliterations. Anyway, much enjoyed! =) I must read more... Moon's Poetess |
| Esther Jade 2008-03-15 ch 1, | abuseReview game! I particularly liked the following lines. a) Stanza 1, lines 3 and 4. b) Stanza 2, lines 1-4. c) Stanza 4, lines 1-4. I thought that these lines especially had great rhythm. Hm, I'm not particularly fond of vague poetry and I found this quite vague. If I were to give an interpretation, I would guess it was about a battered woman who had escaped the relationship in which she was being damaged. However, that's just me piecing bits and pieces together - I personally think that even if the clues are hidden (and if they're here they're well hidden because I did try to look), they should at least be there. Poetry, in my opinion, can't just be words well-strung together; it should have some kind of meaning. I think you've got some great lines, descriptions and concepts in here - I think they just need a more solid foundation. |
| Creepy McSteezerson 2008-03-15 ch 1, | abusei enjoyed it though i found the black and blue parts in the beginning to be rather redundant |