FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Oracle of Destiny 2008-03-28 ch 1,  | abuseThat is very vivid - I can picture everything in my mind as I read it. I really liked your choices of words and how it fitted in with the poem. Well done with this. |
| Kumquat21 2008-03-16 ch 1, | abuseAgain, lovely. You should keep up this poetry thing. You're wonderful at it. Hm . . . a few little things. The line 'like forked tongues' was a little short and cut the flow. I really like the metaphor, however, just rework it. It was a little choppy in the beginning, but I could tell by the second stanza you really got into it. Just go back and read it out loud, you probably know how to fix it better than I ever could. That's sort of how it is with poetry. You've got a flair for repetition, and I like it. This is quite sophisticated. Keep up the good work! ^^ |