FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| simpleplan13 2008-03-17 ch 1,  | abusehe miss you so, girl... misses his warm is taken away 'cause of you... warmth I like this... and I like all of the repetition except my and is cold because the other parts had a litter variation, but that part didn't. I really like the ending.. it's very well done. I also like all the smilies. The only thing is the punctuation and capitalization was on again, off again. Other than that... great piece |
| Qzie 2008-03-17 ch 1, | abuseOh... that just about broke my heart. The repetition worked well in the verses and I like how it kind of went full circle. Pardon me if I'm wrong, but it sort of sounds like a letter to two people. I dunno. It's very touching and really tugs at your heartstrings. Excellent song. -Qzie |