Reviews for The door is still open

Reviews For: The door is still open

CrazyJujube 2008-03-20 ch 1,	abuseYou really oughtta try beginning each verse with a different word and dividing them into stanzas..But other than that, and the fact that some parts seemed a little choppy, like you could've used them with the verses before them, you wrote a pretty good poem. Good job :)
rippling iris 2008-03-18 ch 1,	abuseit sucks so much when a good friend gets all distant. i hate it cause i'm like 'why don't you talk to me dammit!'. anyway, great poem. it really captures the range of emotions you feel when a friend does that. you know, sad and bitter but wanting to understand and still hoping they'll come back. great job.
WormsofCharacter 2008-03-18 ch 1,	abuseI think that you have done a fabulous job with expressing those delicious thoughts and feelings in the way you organize your lines, for example "again" and "to green grass." They mean so much more when they stand alone, but I noticed that you don't have much structure as far as stanzas and rhyme schemes go. I find that sometimes it's worth the extra time and work. You obviously have the soul of an artist and you do a wonderful job of expressing yourself. Thanks for reviewing my poem!
simpleplan13 2008-03-18 ch 1,	abuseYou were too busy./trying to open locked doors./That you never noticed the ones./that were already open... the last three lines are not sentences on their own... honestly Im not even sure you need commas there, but definitely not periods To notice all the people that already loved you... again not a sentence Aren’t we enough?/to satisfy your thirst?... I think fp messed up the format and made it single spaced are still here./waiting for you... again the second part isn't a separate sentence Not in distance,/But in relationship... not a sentence I guess I was wrong./To think./That you honestly and earnestly cared... last two not sentences Just take a moment from reality and breath...breathe Its waiting for you...It's Waiting for you my dear friend./Waiting patiently and silently for you to understand... not sentences Ok enough grammar... I liked the piece. The idea of losing a friend is a bit cliche, but I think you had enough interesting points of view to compensate for that. I hafta say I wasn't a big fan of the flow. The lines were short then long then short... plus the grammar issues i mentioned didn't help. I also thought some of the repetition was a bit much... I think you separated things into new lines and repeating things that weren't quite necessary like repeating aren't we enough and to notice and waiting... that kinda thing. But I did like how you separate out the pleases that was nice and the more and more and more thing was nice too As I said (I think) before... your descriptions were pretty good... I like the moon stars, fish ocean thing... and I love the line about breaking foundations.. that was nice... I'm also torn on the green grass thing. It was a different way to use the cliche, but still a bit cliche... Im not quite sure if I like it or not lol Some of your word choice wasn't so great... like "busy" and "notice" especially since you repeated it, but some of them were really great like "reside" Another part I also liked was the being far away in relationship not distance... the idea of being far away not in distance is used a lot, but using the word relationship was really interesting for me As I said I liked the piece... nice done
Aislin Kane 2008-03-17 ch 1,	abuseI really, really enjoyed this, the door metaphor really brought it back together when it could have just been pointless desperation. Good job!

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