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| Artemis Reborn 2008-03-21 ch 2,  | abuseI think this went a bit more smoothly than chapter 1. It's amusing to watch the character interaction. I do think the characters themselves could use a little fleshing out. (Sorry! Don't hurt me!) I just really like to get to know the chars whose lives I'm reading about, and sometimes I still get a little lost about who's who. (Well, except for Jade and Jesse, but they ARE the main characters. *grins*) I look forward to the next installment! This story is a lot of fun! Art. |
| Artemis Reborn 2008-03-19 ch 1, | abuseAh hah! Breaks! This is starting out a cute story. I love the characters you're developing. You must have some good inspiration... hehe. I did feel as if the whole thing was just a little rushed. Sometimes it's okay to slow down a bit and take your time with it. My brother talks really fast (it's how his brain works) and my mom can never keep up with him. Your story was just a little like that. I kind of felt like I was left in the dust. *smiles* Keep it up, though! The only way to get better is to keep on writing! Btw, Jesse's mom's overprotectiveness was a fun way to develop her character. Man, I'm tired, couldn't think of the word I wanted. At any rate, the talent is there, it just needs a little bit of honing. =) Art. |