I wonder what sin her sister had comitted...hm nice story so far...

-Vampriss2

Intense. I can't wait to see what happens next! :)

Insteresting. When you say he has sick green skin is he really sick or is that just being descriptive?

What a very interesting story you have here. The description is well written, and you have almost perfect grammer. The only thing that I would advise changing is the sentence that says: Laura found herself surprised at this dismissal of Laura’s question. I think you should use a different pronoun instead of repeating her name twice.

Other than that I enjoyed reading this. Is it a one shot or is this the beninning of a novel? Whatever. Good story!