This is really great! I really like how you convey your message in more ways than just with the words themselves (emphasized letters, metaphors). You are a great writer, so keep it up!

i LOVE IT

absolutely, positively love it

it flows so well,

lovelovelovelovelove it!

Nice job with the "answer" part and your language is simply fantastic. This piece could be such a moving song, as well. When I read it, the emotions and messages practically cry out at me and I love it. This is exactly the sort of thing I aspire to write. Thank you.

"Sinking dejectedly, into a lonely recess by the stomach...I meant to say yes." My God, I love those lines.

I tried to find constructive criticism, but I can't really find any. The only line I don't really like is "Coming right now" because the repetition is a bit unnecessary, I think. Other than that, wonderful job.

((favorited))

Deanna