Whoa dude that was really short but friggin' sweet!

Wow, that was short. Awsome story! I wonder what kind of monster she was...^_^

Awesome short story! You made a great atmosphere in this story, a very creepy one!

this is pretty good... I think you should roll w/ it...u know make it an antire story. I think it's make a wonderful vampire story...
keep wrting,
LL

"She creeps..." -Steven King, "The Shining"

Very interesting. I do this all the time (i.e., start a story and never finish it :D). Very X-Files, which is always a plus. I'd be interested in reading where this goes and possibly a history of the girl.

I had to read it a few times before the whole thing really sunk in and pieced itself together in my mind, but I really like that about it. It's an intriguing piece and I love the way the last sentence trails off. Nice work!

~DeeAnna

whoa, creepy

Creepy! Is she a vampire, or did you imagine her to be some other creature?

Just wondering. =P Also, I wondered why the boy was just lying there. What happened to him? Though I guess my questions are supposed to be unanswered.

One thing. In 'the boy that lay', I think 'the boy *who* lay' would sound better. He's a person, and 'that' makes him sound more like an object... unless that was your intention.