FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| My Atomic Garden 2008-07-13 ch 1,  | abuseThis is a very good expression of your feelings, good job. I loved the line "I look past your greed/And see you're sublime" becuase it shows how love can blind people in a way, or at least blur thier vision. You did a wonderful job with both rhyming and meter of this peice, I am ver impressed. I like how you avoided overused, boring cliches. Good work, keep writing. -Peace out. |
| Mystic and Masochistic 2008-06-15 ch 1, | abuseVery nice. I like how the last stanza addresses the 'you' directly. Some people cannot pull that off very well, but you did. ~Isabel |
| Untitled and Unfinished 2008-04-06 ch 1, | abuseVery good! I understand the feeling, thats why I like this poem. The second line in the third stanza didnt seem to go with the rythem though. But otherwise I liked it alot. very good rhyme!! |
| angel953 2008-03-22 ch 1, | abuseAW i love this! great work! |
| simpleplan13 2008-03-21 ch 1, | abuseI like this... the questions are nice and the whole idea is relateable and your word choice was really great. One thing in the first stanza the last two lines... the way it was phrased made it a bit confusing since it sounded like you were looking past your longing sublime, which i dont think is what you meant Anyhow really great piece |
| xxInsanityxx 2008-03-21 ch 1, | abuseI love this! It flows very well!! (veneer LOL) i love the last stanza!! Keep up the good work (hehehe)! ~xxInsanityxx |