It feels like a beginning, mostly because I am left with so many questions. What is this war? The Queen? Where do humans fit into this? What was the first Sephelae's story?

Still, for a beginning, it's pretty nice. I wish you could introduce the Lars species in a better way than to define the words in the beginning. That does bother me.

Your point of view wanders a bit. It seems to be so intimate with this character (but seriously, give us her first name) and then suddenly switches into a random galao's head, and then back. If this is her story, then it should stick with her.

The battle is definitely your strong point in this. The beginning needs a little bit more tension and interest to carry you through to it, I think.

Still, like it,
EV