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| hidden.superstar 2008-03-24 ch 2,  | abuseseriously good story. i like the way i can empathise with joanna completely. makes the story worth reading. (: i hope to be able to read more soon. :] hidden.superstar. |
| Aruru 2008-03-24 ch 1, | abuseCool. =] -- Tied-Up Dog |
| Ollie May 2008-03-21 ch 1, | abuseMy absolute favorite part of this story? "What a testament to gravity." Joana's humor is that perfect blend of cynicism and irony that I can't help but be amused. You've done a great job building her character, she seems to me to be very detached from reality. I don't know if that's a good thing or not yet but I'm sure excited to find out! And I gotta say, her friend Tina kinda sucks as a friend but I do like Fee and I am DEFINITELY interested in who the boy with the boulder like arms is. There were a couple of spots in here that I stumbled on, let me see if I can find them again: "What's that quote that goes on about how we are scared to be powerful, yeah, well, that's all I'm up to: not being afraid." This just didn't make sense to me. I think it would help if you divided the sentence up after the qoute before the "Yeah, well..." "...and how much of life, I simply lacked..." There shouldn't be a comma there. "...as when I'd first answered to Fee's call." The 'to' is unnecessary. "Being the only person who really mattered on the block, I thought nothing of leaving the house in pajamas." There's nothing wrong with this, I just thought it was such a great testament to Joana's character that I had to bring attention to it! Really, just small errors but this story has such a promising plot, I don't want anyone to be put off by them and not read it! Great job and I will be avidly waiting for the next installment! Cheers, Ollie May |