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| loves him 2008-07-14 ch 1,  | abuseHi, I'm here from the review game (fractured illusion sent me here)! Mkay, so first off, the formatting of this could be fixed. Instead of a double space between each line, you can just have one space (in the document editor, press SHIFT and ENTER). Then, between stanzas, you can have the double space instead of a ruler. I liked the imagery in this poem, especially the first and third stanzas. The formatting of the third stanza really got the point across. I liked how 'life was ripped' is cut off from 'from it'. I don't know if you had done that intentionally or not, but it helped to emphasize how the rose has been ripped from life. Very nice touch there. I liked the poem in general, but I just have one question. Why is the word 'crushed' placed between two periods? Does it have some significance to the poem? Yeah, that was the only part that I was a little lost on. Anywho, great job on this. (: |
| CitrusTonBerry 2008-06-29 ch 1, | abuseAww! This reminded me of Beauty and the Beast! o.o xD |
| simpleplan13 2008-06-05 ch 1, | abuseI like this... the repetition works well to tie the piece together and I really like the questions at the end. Nice job. |
| Black and White Dreams 2008-04-18 ch 1, | abuseHm... this reminds me of one of my own poems... i think it's colors of my rose... not sure. oh well. i like this, nice job =] ~Alice~ (its too hard to type my pen name one-handedly!) |
| horntail 2008-03-21 ch 1, | abuseLovely poem, really great imagery! Well done C: |
| Take the Money and Run 2008-03-21 ch 1, | abuseAw, i love the symbolism in this poem and it was written really well. the only suggestion i have is to add punctuation in a couple parts, like you could add a commas after "colors faded" and "lifeless." Nice poem overall great job! |