 LadyAnesta 2008-03-21 . chapter 1the rhyme in the beginning is a little choppy- which puts a lot of weight to the rhyming at the end of the poem. and be careful about centralizing your poem- it makes the poem read differently than if centered to the left because, visually, the lines don't flow as well. in this case, the first few lines feels stilted.
loved the lines "herald the angels/ all lies still/ and here in the grove/ where old graves lie"
the play on "grove" and "grave" was very nicely done. :) |