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| stained blue 2008-06-06 ch 1,  | abuse"navy-clad thighs" huh, i always wanted to join the navy. :) this is pretty, like a string of imagery that sticks to you. ilikeit. |
| fairytale failure 2008-04-10 ch 1, | abuseYou have wonderful description, creating vivid pictures in your writing. I liked 'blooming like apple blossoms burned red on my cheeks', I'm assuming you meant a blush? I loved how you seamlessly tied in the themes of autumn, eden and falling in love, all summed up in the last line: 'I am ripe for the fall' indicates adam and eve's fall from the garden of eden, how the voice in the poem is on the edge of falling for someone, and on another level, a play on words with fall the season. Very nice work. |
| the lost yarn spinner 2008-04-01 ch 1, | abuseI can feel the emotions running through this piece. Perhaps "running" is not quite the best word, but I can feel them vividly, just the same. I can feel the frustration of not being able to ignore what your are feeling and I can feel fear of what will happen if you listen to the "autumnal haze of vices". I really enjoyed it! |
| electric feel 2008-03-30 ch 1, | abusei love the autumn metaphors |
| a silenced revolution 2008-03-29 ch 1, | abuseGood work, the imagery and metaphor are very effective together, as is the evocative language. |
| no.peace.los.angeles 2008-03-24 ch 1, | abuseThis is beautiful. There are so many perfectly constructed metaphors and images in this. Everything just works together. That fourth stanza is really just gorgeous. The last line is flawless. Love it. Keep writing! :) |
| Nemonus 2008-03-23 ch 1, | abuseGood. The metaphor is powerful and apt. |
| theinfinitebee 2008-03-22 ch 1, | abuseWow. *blinks* I love the imagery - stunning. (And the entire poem, as usual.) "The equinox gleaming in your eyes/and a smile gently stretching the pale appleskin of your lips,/you divert me from my calculations and certainty" was perhaps my favourite stanza. "and I am ripe for the fall." Is a wonderful way to end the poem. I love the way you have the last line dangling at the end; it makes me want more. Absolutely amazing, Julia. |